Your Self-Awareness Experience
By D.W. Sutton 2002

Your self-conscious awareness is an amazing experience - a priceless gift, but what is it and what are you aware of when you are conscious of yourself? Who is this self you're aware of, and where did you come from?

The 'self' you're aware of has a physical and mental component. Your physical 'self' is your body and its biological processes. Orthodox science claims that you - the individual you identify as 'I' - is produced by your brain's electrochemical activity. Brain, mind and consciousness are the same. Do you really think that your dynamic conscious self is (brain) matter programmed by DNA?

Self is your sensory experiences - you see, hear, smell, taste and feel. Self is you responding to your physical image and the demands of your external environment. Self is your conscious thoughts, feelings and impulses and your unconscious thoughts, feelings and impulses. Self is your memories and your capacity to reflect on, or purposefully examine, your past experiences. In fact your self-conscious awareness can examine and analyze all the mental (thought, feeling and emotional) events you experience.

Every time you refer to yourself as 'I' you individualize your self-awareness. The 'I' you refer to is the 'thinker' in your consciousness. You identify your self as 'I'. You assert your individuality by proclaiming 'I am'. Self-awareness allows you to identify and know the thinker within your consciousness - as the thinker you possess self-consciousness. You are aware of your 'self'. As the thinker you are aware of your inner-world thoughts and feelings and the outer-world circumstances that you strive to navigate and survive.

Your individuality allows you to experience your 'self' in a totally unique way. Only you know what your personal self-experience is like. Your consciousness is uniquely yours. It is fluid, changeable and shaped by circumstance. It follows a natural course of development that is character specific. Character determines the events and how they are organized in your consciousness. You also have a self-awareness potential that is subject to the normal conditioning process. And once conditioned to express in a particular way it continues to express in this way unless you change its mode of expression.

All things considered you were probably fully conscious of yourself as a distinct individual by the time you were two years old; but the quality of your self-image at this age depended greatly on your early-life experiences. Your sense of self was greatly influenced by your relationship with your primary caregiver. Later on your self-awareness made you aware of your physical body and you probably develop the habit of identifying your 'self' with your physical appearance. Self-awareness does provide the astonishing experience of seeing and recognizing your physical self (in actual fact an exact replica of your astral self). You can identify who you are with a physical image that you can recognize in a mirror. Many teenagers develop an identity fixation at this level. Their self-awareness is fixated on their appearance. At this stage 'self' is identified as a physical body and the self is created in the image of the physical appearance: And while it is natural to identify who you are with your physical body a self-awareness fixation at this level does indicate an unfulfilled self-awareness potential.

Many people have a self-awareness fixation at an economic (Saturn) level. The self-awareness is fixated on money, material objects and the need to survive financially. In this instance 'self' is identified as a financial value or material object and the self is created in the image of the personal wealth and possessions. A self-awareness fixation at this level also indicates an unfulfilled self-awareness potential. Economic considerations do play a very important role in human life, but productive personal development is more than the acquisition of money, cars and houses.

A self-awareness fixation at a physical or financial level of development indicates that the self-awareness has not yet reached its full potential. The focus for most people does remain external, but why identify 'self' with an external physical object? Surely the logical next step in self-awareness development involves the internal - the identification of your 'self' with a dynamic range of thoughts and feelings and the experiences that cause you to soar and glide.

There is an ideal 'self-awareness' level to strive for. There are two sides to every story: the external side, and the internal side. Your astrology details and your self-awareness observes both the external experience and your internal response. Your self-awareness can evaluate both sides of an experience. It can evaluate the external experience and your internal response. You can evaluate the experience in terms of the external factors involved and the impact the external had on the internal. The objective is to develop a balanced response where both the inner subjective response and the external objective event are both given an equal assessment. This will allow you to evaluate the experience in terms of its personal worth - a value determined by the quality of the feelings you felt at the time of the experience.

Not only that, if the desired experience caused an unwanted 'pain' response then you will have to change your attitude or modify your expectations. And this requires a careful examination of your behaviour at the time of the experience. As the commander-in-chief you have to navigate a rather hazardous external environment, as well as the discord-seeking impulses being sent to you by the discordant thought-cell groups in your unconscious mind. Your self-awareness allows you to examine these unconscious impulses and the behaviours they set in motion. Self-awareness allows you to recognize when a discordant thought-cell group is seeking an unfortunate experience. Careful self-examination allows you - the thinker - to recognize and monitor those thought-cell groups having a misfortune intent and to manage the bad behaviours they initiate. Self-awareness permits you to manage and control a self-destructive impulse by applying a behaviour management program using the appropriate 'thought' antidote.

Your self-awareness allows you - the thinker - to examine your own consciousness. It even allows you to purposefully examine your own self-awareness behaviour. Self-awareness allows you to recognize your feel-bad thoughts and feelings and the experiences that cause you to feel these unpleasant feelings. Every feel-bad experience represents a problem and the thinker's level of intelligence determines how s/he will go about solving this problem. When the thinker identifies an unpleasant circumstance as having a nonproductive outcome s/he can decide not to have that experience. Your self-conscious awareness also allows you to recognize your feel-good thoughts and feelings and the experiences that cause you to feel these pleasant feelings. When the thinker identifies a pleasant circumstance as having a productive outcome s/he can proactively seek that experience. This of course implies the development of a pro-active response to your self-awareness information where you actively seek those experiences that provide you with the greatest personal benefit in terms of a happiness payoff.

Why did your consciousness evolve the ability to be aware of itself? From an evolutionary perspective self-consciousness allows you to recognize and identify yourself as a unique individual. Self-consciousness means you can think, make an appraisal, form a strategy and make a decision. You no longer have to rely on instinct. Self-awareness is a very special and important event in the evolution of your consciousness - the logical next step in your consciousness development.

With the development of self-consciousness you acquire the capacity to experience the conscious awareness of all your thoughts, feelings and impulses, but like all experiences it can have pleasant or unpleasant consequences. It can cause you to feel pleasure or pain. And like all experiences it can have a productive, rewarding outcome or a nonproductive, unrewarding outcome. Most often it is a haphazard experience with no system and order and this means it often lacks a productive purpose. The realization that self-conscious awareness does have a very important purpose has significant implications. The fact that it permits the acquisition of practical self-knowledge, that can be used productively, means that you should develop a very constructive attitude to your own self-awareness experience. You should strive to make your self-awareness experience a meaningful, productive, interesting, exciting and adventurous experience.

Memory is dynamically linked to self-awareness. In fact memory is the basis of your self-awareness and its development. Self-awareness and memory allow you to discover who you are and the world in which you operate. Every event you experience contributes to your sense of self - you are shaped by your experiences. Every event is reproduced in your mind as a state of consciousness and then it is stored in the unconscious mind as a memory. You have pleasant memories (you liked these experiences) and unpleasant memories (you disliked these events), but productive self-examination depends greatly upon your capacity to accurately recall and examine your memories. Your memory experience is uniquely yours - so how do you experience your memories? Time plays tricks with memories and character flaws can easily misrepresent the original memory either exaggerating or diminishing its pleasure or pain (learning) content. You learn who you are through the events you experience, but can easily develop a love-hate relationship with your memories. The clear understanding and acceptance of pleasure and pain will help you resolve this love-hate problem.

Impelled by your desire to live and experience life you strive to achieve your desired outcome. You have expectations. Your unrealistic expectations cause you to feel frustration, as the desired goal is impossible to attain. Your desired goals must be attainable. Unrealistic expectations can impede your developmental. Knowing your level of expectation is valuable self-awareness information. High-level self-understanding enhances your personal development; low-level self-understanding impedes it. Feel-good experiences are preferred - they have high personal value. They cause you to feel glorious feelings that will elevate you to a higher state of mind.