The most interesting and exciting experience you will ever have is the experience of your own consciousness. Your consciousness is who you are; you couldn't live without it - it makes your life real. You declare your existence by proclaiming 'I am'. Your conscious self allows you, the thinker, to recognize your experiences as sensations, feelings and emotions, and to translate your feeling responses into words and sentences. Your thoughts, feelings and emotions are uniquely yours - only you know the ways in which your consciousness experiences life. You can subdivide your sense of self into ten self-directing components - ten dynamic drives, each one striving to satisfy its own desire-specific needs: And while you, the individual you identify as 'I', are connected to all these drives you can also separate yourself from them.
You always identify your core self as 'I'; and your whole consciousness is composed of ten dynamic psychological drives that work independently of your core self. It is interesting to observe this mind situation - that the core you is separate from, yet connected to the ten dynamic drives that compose your consciousness. You can separate yourself from your social urge, your religious urge and your desire to be different; and if you examine your behaviour you will notice that each psychological drive works independently of the 'I' you identify as your self.
A very important bit of self-information at the start of your astrological self-awareness journey is the knowledge that you are separate from, yet connected to, the dynamic forces driving your life. You can even separate your self from your thoughts and feelings. You are the manager and the decision-maker; and you rely on your desire-specific experiences to provide you with self-information that you can use in your daily life. You are separate from your desires, yet suffer the good and bad consequences of their behaviours. Each desire-specific psychological drive behaves in a manner that is learned through desire-specific experiences. This learning process involves feelings of pleasure and pain. No thought, planning or foresight is involved.
Your first desire-specific learning experience set the trend and this experience was spontaneous and unregulated. Do you remember your first social experience, your first security experience, or your first religious experience? The behaviours you learned developed spontaneously in response to the early desire-specific experiences provided by your family-life and social environments. Power-significance experiences spontaneously developed your power-significance behaviours; and aggressive-competitive experiences spontaneously developed your aggressive behaviours. Yet your spontaneously developed behaviour existed as a unique, personal (soul) potential, and was detailed by your personal astrology in your birthchart. More importantly, even as an adult, you may not have exercised any deliberate purposeful control over the development of your power, social or religious behaviours and experiences.
Your birthchart details the thought structure of your soul when you were born. It acts as a self-awareness, personal-development guide. This means your birthchart Moon details your personal mode of domestic conduct; your birthchart Mars details your personal mode of aggressive conduct; and your birthchart Neptune details your personal mode of utopian conduct. You were born with a domestic behaviour potential, an aggressive behaviour potential and a utopian behaviour potential and you learned your domestic, aggressive and utopian behaviours through domestic, aggressive and utopian experiences within the context of this potential. Your birthchart reveals what this potential was. Your personal astrology allows you to evaluatesk yourself: What can I do to enhance the quality of my aggressive behaviour? Is my aggressive behaviour productive? Do I win fights and arguments? Do I take the initiative to overcome problems? Is my physical energy put to constructive use? And do I have the physical energy to do what I want? Take the time to understand aggression, the function and purpose of aggression and what aggressive energy is designed to do? Learn the potential of your aggressive energy. Aggression energy can build something, destroy something, energetically do something, fight an infection, fight an opponent, compete or take risks. But as the captain of your team of psychological drives you must decide what you are going to do with your aggressive energy.
Productive, profitable behaviours pose a unique problem simply because a productive behaviour is having a productive outcome. It is unlikely that you will pro-actively strive to modify or improve a behaviour that is already causing you to feel pleasure-satisfaction, yet good behaviours can always be improved and made better. When you, the thinker, becomes aware of a better way of doing something your job is to train the activity-specific psychological drive to perform better It is very important that you do what you want to do and not what your various psychological drives have been trained to do. You have to train your drives to support your endeavours. You won't be happy doing what other people want; and you won't be happy doing what your environment tells you to do either. You will only be happy when you do what you want to do. But as you operate in an insecure economic environment your primary objective is to survive this environment and thus many of your behaviours are 'survival' behaviours made necessary by your will to live and need to survive. You may feel perfectly comfortable in your personal environment, but there is usually some point of contention and this means that a compromise is required between what you want to do and the demands placed upon you by your external environment.
How often have you decided not to do something only to find, at the first opportunity, you are doing exactly what you resolved not to do? How often have you had an unpleasant experience, resolved to avoid the experience in the future and, at the first instance, found yourself in the exact situation you resolved to avoid? This type of experience proves that you are separate to the forces driving your behaviour and that these forces have intentions that are very often at odds with what you want. Very often these forces control your actions. Very often you know you should do something and yet the driving force influencing your behaviour continues to behave in a manner contrary to your wishes. These are common experiences, yet you will have to examine your own experience with this type of situation to know what I am writing about. Have you ever felt that some 'out of control' emotion was controlling your behaviour? The question: have you ever lost control implies that the power of a psychological drive is so overwhelming that you can't control it or the drive is behaving in a manner that contradicts what you want. When this occurs you struggle to maintain balance, poise and peace of mind.
The fact is that each psychological drive in your consciousness has learned its behaviour independent of your intelligent control; and once learned it will engage in this behaviour even when it causes you immense mental, emotional and physical pain. At your earliest opportunity you need to evaluate the behaviour of each psychological drive within your consciousness and determine if its behaviour supports your endeavours. If an unconscious psychological drive behaves constructively it satisfies its constructive intent. You feel the pleasure satisfaction and reap the rewards. If a psychological drive behaves destructively it satisfies its destructive intent, but you feel the pain and reap the unfortunate penalties. Every unfortunate 'bad' experience is due to a discordant psychological drive doing its thing; but personal success demands that each dynamic drive on your team performs well. A harmonious planet in your birthchart indicates a well-trained player: a team member who is in-form, fit and playing well. A discordant planet indicates a poorly trained team member: a player who is out of form, unfit and playing badly. Enhanced personal success requires a team effort from all the players Yet the most important self-information concerns the fact that you are responsible for all your actions and that, as the captain of your team of psychological drives, you direct their behaviour. The problem is that certain drives (easily identified by your astrology) are behaving in a manner that contradicts your goals and plans. Your life education includes learning self-control and this means you have to learn to control the desires and actions of the independent driving forces that comprise your consciousness.
You guide your life on the information you acquire, but the most successful living demands that each psychological drive does what you want it to do, rather than what it wants. Their independent behaviour very often conflicts with what you want; and the independent behaviour of a discordant psychological drive is a liability in the game of life. Its destructive behaviour supports failure and misfortune. A harmonious, well-trained drive is an asset. Its constructive behaviour supports happiness and success. Your objective as the captain of your consciousness is to train your psychological drives to behave in a manner that best suits your purpose, and not in a manner that suits theirs. You must train your drives to do what you want, within the context of what they are naturally designed to do. Yet observation reveals that most people don't want to behave better. Their behaviour is determined by an already established social standard and they are happy to behave at this standard. The society in which you live has an already set standard of political behaviour, aggressive behaviour and social behaviour and this set standard greatly influences how you behave. The idea that you can behave better than this standard may not exist in your consciousness. We easily justify our own behaviour by referring to a previously established custom and very often other people's past behaviours influence our current conduct. We usually behave in a manner determined by established custom in the past. But behaving in a manner established by previous custom means you can't think for yourself. Many people do what established custom dictates and if precedence controls your conduct you are not doing your own thinking. Your behaviour is determined by established custom - you naturally behave at a standard established by the community in which you live. Later on you comment - 'I just didn't think'. Environment blaming is an immature, easily learned non-productive behaviour. If you justify your good and bad experiences by blaming your environment it indicates that you are not yet ready to accept full responsibility for your own life.
Productive personal development requires a team effort from you and your team of psychological drives. There's nothing worse that having a crook player on your team and your most discordant planet indicates your worst player. Your most harmonious planet indicates your best player. Your job, as captain, is to direct your team: And each player must obey you and do what you want, and not what it wants. A renegade player is a handicap: S/he easily upsets you and the other players. A badly trained player is a liability: S/he has an adverse affect on the whole team. The 10 players must pull their weight: Each must put in a productive performance. Each player has an important job to do and an out-of-form player is a liability who impedes the whole team's progress. As the team-captain you must manage and supervise your players. A player who is performing badly should not be criticized, ridiculed, abused or dropped from the team. The wise captain will use kind encouragement when counseling a player who is performing badly. Of course the captain must know what s/he wants to do, and the best way to it. The individual players look to their captain for guidance, and your team's performance will be greatly influenced by your captaincy skills. You need to develop a unified command structure - you must know what you expect from each member of your team. Your current level of self-understanding is the result of your previous learning - and the starting point for your future development.